Fun Gus Among Us

Fun Gus is an enterprising man who has climbed out of the Mycelial muck to become mercantile royalty. His mushroom empire, however, seems to be threatening his domestic bliss!

Level: 7
Start: Fun Gus, Market, Moissan Station


This corner of the market is dominated by a large viewport that affords a breathtaking view of the planetoid below set against the backdrop of the Alpha Centauri system. The effect is only slightly marred by the garish neon lights of a vendor's sign reflecting against the glass. The sign, having been recently installed, hangs above an expansive looking shop and reads, "Fun Gus's Mycelial Emporium."

Further spoiling the view is the fact that a portly man, Fun Gus himself, seems to be having a loud and losing battle with a woman at the entrance to the shop. The argument reaches a crescendo when she lays a painful sounding slap onto his quivering jowls and storms away, heading in the direction of the Bank. Fun Gus sits atop a mechanical and mobile stool, massaging a rapidly reddening cheek and watching her retreat wearing a mixed expression of incredulity and sheepishness.

You have accepted the "Fun Gus Among Us" mission.

  • Best leave the domestic drama to those involved. Walk away.
  • "That looked intense. Something the matter friend?"


This seems like it could get quite hairy. You walk away, Gus will have to sort out his own domestic disputes.

You have failed the "Fun Gus Among Us" mission. You can retake this mission and try again.

Something the matter:

Me: That looked intense. Something the matter friend?

Fun Gus, as the sign above his shop proclaims him to be, looks up at you while still massaging his rather significant jowl. He raises his eyebrows and expels a long breath of air. His large and hanging cheeks quiver in response to his stressful exhalation.

Fun Gus says: I dunno Ser, there's just no pleasin' some women I reckon! I built this here Mycelial empire all for her after all! We were dwellin' in the muck beforehand, now we're sleeping in one of the largest houses on the station! We're all elite like now… but, well, bein' elite has some requirements see? I can't be hobnobbin' with the high an' mighty without fulfillin' certain social expectations see?

  • "Maybe you should let me mediate here Gus."
  • "Social expectations?"
  • "So what's a Mycelial empire?"

Social expectations:

Me: I think I see where this is going. Exactly what kind of social expectations were you looking to fulfill Gus?

Fun Gus scratches the back of his neck with a guilty expression and shifts his weight on the mechanical stool that clanks and whirs to accommodate his movements.

Fun Gus: Weeell? Tisn't such a grand thing I suggested. I weren't going to leave her or nuffin'. I simply put forth the argument, purely for the sake of business y'see, that I perhaps take on a second wife.. erm.. a younger wife…Someone beffitin' the arm of a prominent business man y'see!

Gus hurriedly continues, perhaps aware that he's not coming off in a positive light here.

Fun Gus: But it weren't like I was replacing Rhiannon! Never that! And she would always be the first wife! She'd call the shots an' all! Jolene will just be here to help the business y'see? To match me stature as a man of business. She works over at the local bar, a thing of real beauty! If she were on my arm during social functions…well, people would notice ole' Gus for sure!

  • "Maybe you should let me mediate here Gus."
  • "So what's a Mycelial empire?"

Mycelial empire:

Me: So what's a Mycelial empire?

Fun Gus: Ah! Well that's me livelihood y'see? Moissan has an abundance of mushrooms and all sorts of spore bearin' funghi yeah? On account of the vast fields of dead during the great starvation periods after the Catastrophe. Perfect growin' conditions for your fungus that. Well most of the parts of these fungi are used in processing nutrient bars and medicines and all sorts of useful things. But see, there's also a large chunk of the fungus that's thrown away yeah? And that can soon amount to one big heap of waste to get rid of!

Fun Gus beams proudly and smacks his large chest, the reddened cheek of his recent altercation momentarily forgotten.

Fun Gus: That's where I come in see? I take all them bits of Mycelial waste of their hands and use it to construct a whole mess of useful things. I can coax those mushrooms, fungi, and whatnot to grow around most anything, in any shape ye can think of. I sell Mycelial bricks, vases, storage bins, shoes, heck even the odd part for the interior of a ship! I got zero cost, and pure profit here! Plus people love the stuff as it's sturdy and hardy as hell.. Plus, here on Moisson it comes with one hell of a sentimental value added bonus.

  • "Maybe you should let me mediate here Gus."


Me: Maybe you should let me mediate here Gus.

Gus sheepishly rubs the back of his rather impressive neck. After a moment's thought he nods and replies.

Fun Gus: Aye, truth is I may be treading in uncharted slipstreams here. I love Rhiannon, didn't mean to cause any hurt to her! Jolene is a prize sure enough, but only for my stature as an up and coming man about the station! Hell.. I don't even know how to approach a woman like that! But aye! If you could talk to my wife…make her see the good of this! And.. ehem.. maybe if she gives you her blessing, you could go talk to Jolene for me too?

Look for Rhiannon at the bank.

Next NPC: Rhiannon, Bank, Moissan Station

  • "You've got quite the right hook."

Me: You've got quite the right hook.

You address the woman you so recently witnessed assault the cheek of Fun Gus with the palm of her heavily ringed hand. She looks at you in surprise for a moment and then snorts, glancing down and flexing her manicured fingers.

Rhiannon: No less than that oaf of a man deserves! And here I am, depositing the day's earnings for his thrice-damned 'empire'. I suppose he's sent you to 'talk me into it..'

She stares at you defiantly with a pair of startlingly gray and proud eyes, clenching her jaw several times as she appears to build up to an explosion. Suddenly, however, she appears to deflate. Her shoulders slump and she covers a trembling lip with one hand.

Rhiannon: But that oaf is my oaf. He's a sweet man, I know deep down he doesn't understand why he hurt me so. He is sweet, but he is simple in many ways. He does not understand how a woman's heart works. Especially a woman of my years…Gus is all I have. Sure, there may be little passion to our marriage, but who would look at me now? And if he replaces me for.. for her? And he will! I know it! I've seen the way she looks at us when we're in the market! She stares Ser, she stares so passionately. I know not why. Perhaps she would take pleasure in conquering another woman's man? Please.. please I know what Gus has asked of you. But I beg of you. Please ask her instead, on my behalf, ask her not to take my man, even though we both know she can!

Rhiannon's outburst peters out as suddenly as it arrived, like a ship engine suddenly bursting to fiery life before spluttering out. You notice her hands found their way to your shoulders during her entreaty, and she stares pleadingly into your eyes.

  • "Tell me more about Jolene."
  • "OK OK. Don't worry, I'll go talk to her."

Tell me more:

Me: Tell me more about Jolene.

Rhiannon's jaw sets in frustration but she nods her head. She brushes a strand of her out of her eyes and replies.

Rhiannon: Jolene…hmmph. To tell the truth, I have not heard anything untoward about her. That is what frustrates me all the more. She is exactly the kind-hearted type who would look beyond Gus's, shall we say, outlandish looks and see the sweet man inside. She is, I have to say, a creature of dazzling beauty. Stars! Under different circumstance I myself…ehem. That is to say, she is one of Spore's prize dancers, men and women from all over the system come to watch her dance. She could easily have any man she desires. Why she has eyes on my Gus is beyond me! And I know Gus would have us both.. but you cannot tell me he will continue to look upon me with that siren by his side! I am sure she won't even mean to do anything! She will be sweet and lovely and gorgeous and…and… it is just so infuriating!

  • "OK OK. Don't worry, I'll go talk to her."


Me: OK OK. Don't worry, I'll go talk to her.

Rhinnon delicately wipes the tears of frustration that had been welling up in her eyes. She composes herself and even gives you a hesitant smile of thanks. She then turns around and moves away, continuing her business at the bank.

Next NPC: Jolene, Bar, Moissan Station

  • Speak to Jolene

You approach the beautiful woman named Jolene and tell her about Gus's offer as well as Rhiannon's entreaty.

Jolene is a dazzling beauty who sits at the bar sipping on a drink. There are not a lot of customers at the moment and she seems to be taking the opportunity to enjoy a break. Bright red, curly hair falls across her shoulder as she turns to regard you with big, sparkling, green eyes. She listens to your tale with a slight smile, shaking her head and tapping her lips thoughtfully with an immaculately manicured nail.

Jolene: Aww Suger! Thanks for the message. Now, Gus is a dear and sweet man. He's also a silly one. Rhiannon, however, is far sillier the dear! 'Course I been starin' at them in the market. But it ain't Gus I'm starin' after…it's HER I can't take my eyes off of. You think Gus put together that fungal enterprise of his all by his self? Stars no… it was her brains that made it all happen. Sure he came up with the gimmick, but the business, the numbers. She's a hell of a woman that Rhiannon, and beautiful too.

Jolene smooths out her dress and takes an imperceptible glance around the bar, her eyes resting on a giant man of the Mall genotype standing in the shadows.

Jolene: I'll tell ya plain honey. 'Course I'm interested in Gus's proposal, and Course I ain't fixin' on stealing him from that darlin' Rhiannon. Hell, it's her I'm sweet on after all! You go back and tell them all of this and I'll steal away to seal the deal! Problem is, however, that yer gonna have to get old Vele there to let me go. He's plenty strict on dancers going off and gettin' hitched. Boss don't like it, bad for business if your customers don't think they got a chance you know?

She tells you the last with a wink. She also points her delicately manicured finger towards the towering figure of a Mall in the shadows; the aforementioned 'Vele'.

Convince Vele to allow Jolene to leave the bar.

Next NPC: Vele Velegrakis, Bar, Moissan Station

  • Trick Vele into letting Jolene accept Gus's proposal
  • Talk Vele into letting Jolene accept Gus's proposal

(Social check)

You speak to Vele, doing your best to ignore the fact that he towers over almost everyone in the establishment. You try to weave a creative tale that will convince him that Jolene needs to go. He listens intently for awhile, wearing an unreadable expression. Finally, he breaks into a wide grin, having seen through your ruse.
Vele: Ela Re! Miss Jolene wants to get married? But yes of course she should! Just… shhh… Don't tell the afentiko, the boss, eh? He has strange and weirdly, if you ask me, possessive rules about the girls. Aide, go go. I will look the other way when Miss Jolene needs to leave.

(Social check)

You speak to Vele, doing your best to ignore the fact that he towers over almost everyone in the establishment. You tell him about the situation and try to appeal to the humanity in him. He listens intently for awhile, wearing an unreadable expression. Finally, he breaks into a wide grin.
Vele: Ela Re! Miss Jolene wants to get married? But yes of course she should! Just… shhh… Don't tell the afentiko, the boss, eh? He has strange and weirdly, if you ask me, possessive rules about the girls. Aide, go go. I will look the other way when Miss Jolene needs to leave.

Return to Gus

Next NPC: Fun Gus, Market, Moissan Station

  • Return to Gus with the news.

You return to Gus in the market. Rhiannon has returned from the bank and is standing next to him looking anxious and chewing on her lip. You deliver Jolene's message and watch gleefully as Rhiannon begins to blush a furious crimson. You note, however, that she is not entirely displeased, in fact, she looks both flattered and even sports a slight, speculative smile. Gus himself also seems happy at the outcome, having, perhaps, not understood the deeper intricacies of Jolene's answer. As you finish delivering your message, Jolene walks up to join the group. She smiles at Gus and stares unabashedly at Rhiannon who blushes an even deeper crimson and stares, at first, towards her feet. Then she smiles at Jolene and the two move away to talk as Gus clanks his mechanical stool towards you with a grin.

Fun Gus: Hey! But this is great! I don't know what you said, but you must have a silver tongue hey? Rhiannon is happy, Jolene will make me look dashing at the parties, and the Mycelial Emporium will, I think, flourish! HA!

Gus accesses a hatch in his mechanical stool and pulls out a small case made of thick, mycelial strands.

Fun Gus: Don't shoot the messenger they say hey? Eh, this is why! Messengers achieve great things! Mo shooting for you my friend, just credits! Here, you spend these well… maybe even on the emporium hey? HA!

Fun Gus chortles heavily, his neck and cheeks wiggling with mirth before he turns his stool and clanks back towards the two ladies, perhaps to talk about the marriage. All three turn to you and smile as you leave, the new credits a happy weight in your bag.

You have received 250.00 credits.

You have completed the "Fun Gus Among Us" mission.


  • Vele must be Greek:
    • "Ela re" roughy means "Come on" or "Go ahead"
    • "Afentiko" means "boss"
  • The whole mission is based on the Dolly Parton song Jolene, however with plenty of exposition, two additional points of view and a twist ending.
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