Gym Attendant


The Gym's hygiene levels are questionable. Kolo Bayliss is looking for a new cleaning attendant. Interested?

Start: Side Jobs, Spirit of New York City


You confirm acceptance of the assignment and the side jobs terminal issues you with further info. Kolo Bayliss is waiting for you in the Gym.

New goals: "Visit Kolo Bayliss in the Gym for the cleaning job.".

You have accepted the "Gym Attendant" job.

Next NPC: Kolo Bayliss, Gym, Spirit of New York City

  • Approach Kolo.

The gym is noisy with the whirr of treadmill belts and the clang of weight stacks moving up and down. Amid it all you find Kolo Bayliss, frowning at something on his pocket slate. He looks up as you approach.

Kolo says: Newbie! Come here. Listen to this… "New York's Gym stinks of BO. Sweat pools on every surface. No excuse for dirty!" I mean— Can you believe someone wrote that? Can you?!

You shrug sympathetically as Kolo shakes his head in dismay. He shunts the slate back into his pocket before handing you a pack of microfiber wipes and some sanitizer spray.

He continues: Here. Give the machines a wipe and sanitize external surfaces. Give it all you got… I don't wanna read another review like this again!

New goals: Clean the exercise machines in the Spirit New York City's Gym.

  • Start cleaning.

(Stamina check)

You start with a low-gravity treadmill. The machine sits inside a strange bubble designed to allow users to practice running at reduced Gs, mainly for those rehabilitating joints after injury or surgical intervention. It's covered in slick pools of smelly sweat but eventually you get it clean and dry.

  • Move onto the second machine.

(Stamina check)

Next up is a rotational exercise bike, on which users pedal whilst being simultaneously spun upside down at various angles and speeds. The inside of the 360 rotatory pod smells worse that a shuttle's waste shredder.

Me: Holy Stars!

But you restrain your gag reflex and persevere until the machine is spotless. The only noticeable smell after is the synthetic floral aroma of the cleaning products.

  • Keep going. Move onto the next machine.

(Stamina check)

Next you come to a machine specially designed for those who've recently completed lengthy spells in zero-gravity environments. After an enfeebled freighter pilot finishes her session on it, you give it a thorough wipe down.

  • Move onto the last machine.

(Stamina check)


The end is in sight but your stamina is failing you now. Try again.


The last row of machines all feature sticky and somewhat disgusting seats which look like they haven't been cleaned for a while. Kolo's Gym may be popular, but it's far from the cleanest you've ever seen. You apply an extra dose of sanitizer to these surfaces and scrub them until the original shine is once again visible.

Kolo lingers nearby: Mmm-hmmm. Get a whiff of that! It smells better than freshly-recycled air!

Kolo beams at you, evidently pleased with your work.

  • Finish your shift.

Me: I think I'm all done now here…

You return the cleaning products to a cupboard, while Kolo praises your efforts.

Kolo says: Nice job! You really gave 110%. I like that. Here's your pay. Come back anytime!

Kolo hands you a credit chit before placing his nose once more above the seat of a recently-cleaned machine. He inhales deeply, and then yelps again with satisfaction.

He says: That's what a good review smells like! Thanks again, <name>!

You have received 90.00 credits.

You have completed the "Gym Attendant" job.

<— Return to Spirit of New York City

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